Jackalope Ailments

JackalopeJunction.com is dedicated to providing the medical
community and the public with the most up to date infromation on the
latest research being done into various Jackalope related ailments. If
you have any additional imformation, please inform us. Send your
comments to Dr. Jack A. Lope c/o JackalopeJunction.com by clicking
on the email link at the bottom of this page.

Jackalope induced dermatitis.
To avoid this horrible skin conditon,
never touch a Jackalope with your bare
hands. If you do, wash with soap and
water for at least 24 hours after contact.

Jackaloholicism.

Certain individuals may be predisposed to
becoming Jackaholics. If any members of
your family have been Jackaholics, it would
be advisable for you to avoid all contact with
the Jackalope. They are very addicting. If
you or someone you love needs help,
please check the white pages for the
nearest JA, Jackaholics Anonymous.

Jackalomorphis
m

The ability of the
Jackalope to transform
itself into another form
of creature.

Jackagout

Jackalope meat is low in
nutritional value for the human
animal. If the majority of a
human diet consists of Jackalope
meat, Jackalope gout may result!

We desperately need your help on the listed
conditions . Send us any information you might
have to help stamp out these heart breaking
ailments. Thank you, Dr. Jack A. Lope,
graduate: School of Jackalope Husbandry.

Jackalope separation anxiety snydrome (JSAS), has been found in
those people who have an unhealthy attatchment to one or more Jackalopes they
may posesss. This may be also be related to a co-dependency disorder.

Jackahanta Virus.

First discovered near the four corners area, the deadly virus has been linked to those
people living in close proximity to the Jackalope. The only know fatality was reported
from south eastern Wyoming. Advice: Don't live to close or with the Jackalope.

Urgent! In the last few days it has come to our attention
that a prominent presidential candidate has been snorting
powdered jackalope antler. Our source, of course, is
confidential. However, it was revealed to us that he heard
from a close friend of his, an ex-senator, that the inhalation
through the nose of powdered Jackalope antler can cure E.D.

This information must not reach the general
public as it would have a devistating effect on
the already endangered Jackalope.

Jackalope Halotosis.

Only found in the male Jackalope during rutting season. Probably brought on by the
male's propensity to sip excessive amounts of burbon during the mating season.

Disclaimer: If you, your friends or loved
ones feel they may be suffering from or
have contracted one of these ailments:

1) Contact your primary care
physician.

2) Contact the Centers for
desease Control in Atlanta,
Georgia.

3) Go the the nearest emergency
room and inform them to contact
my web site.